Thursday, 13 April 2017 | 09:24 | 0 sweethearts
i had an instinct.
i think this one guy has a crush on me.
he is very cute, you may say he is exactly my type if you ever meet him.
at first i wasnt sure abt it. i thought he was tryna be friendly. well, guys kan. so i took him lightly. you kinda has this kind of 'feeling' if you noticed someone like you. that is what i feel these past few weeks.
the effort he puts in order to make a conversation with me. every time. and the way i talked back with a lazy answer. or one word answer.
the way he always wants to be beside me.
it was, idk. i thought its just me. so i brushed my instinct away, a lot. until that day. we were standing next to each other when he attempted to have a conversation again. its a usual conversation. he was just calling my name and asked abt my friend's whereabout. and yes, as usual i answer back with a short answer. but it was too awkward. the situation was. so i looked at another direction. then i looked back at him.
he was sitting. lowering his head. and smiling.
it was..... a sincere smile? idk. its that kind of smile when you saw someone you love. its my kind of smile everytime i saw sehun on my tl. its a big smile. the happy smile. the smile so sincere that i was kinda surprised after i saw it.
he smiled so big after talking a few words with me. the situation itself wasnt funny at all but he hides his happiness just bcs a small conversation.
i havent see that kind of smile from a guy for years.
i always get scared talking to guys bcs i am so afraid they are being fake with me. hey, guys are so dramatic and bitchy too okay. yknow like they could be smiling and laughing with you but the moment you turn around, they are actually laughing at you. mocking you. i experienced that a lot in my past that i stop talking with guys that much. i became so paranoid. i cried a lot back then bcs of this. i couldnt feel any sincerity from any guys anymore. i tend to push them away. thats why i treat guys awkwardly, or simply ignore their existences (unless if they are my ex-classmates)
but him. idk.
it had been a long time.
he was so happy. he hides it so well but im caught him off guard.
i never thought someone could smile so sincere like that at me.
i have to admit.
it haunts me until now.
his smile :)