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Thursday, 12 November 2015 | 16:17 | 1 sweethearts
My final result dah keluar, lagi awal daripada orang lain. I mean, certain of us dapat awal, around 10 o'clock. And sadly, result aku jatuh. Menjunam. I dont know how to react....

You know what, the perks of being a student that always score in his/her exam, THE HIGHER EXPECTATION. Because you used to score well, like very well. You studied hard, not getting enough of sleep (believe me purata aku tidur sehari 4 jam je kot), you did every homeworks, tutorials, even your other classmates tak buat langsung but then, BAM! result jatuh. It's like satu tamparan yang besar towards you.

The devastated feeling.

The urge to give up feeling.

:( 

The struggle was too real. I didnt enjoy huha sana sini sebab aku rasa study lagi penting. Sebab aku taknak buang masa. Everytime my friends feeling low, or down of the subjects, i cheered them up, pasting a fake smile and hope for them. While back in my room, i cried so hard and trying to solve the problem by doing tons of tutorial, study over and over again. Aku bukan jenis kalau ada masalah, aku call orang, ngadu, no. Aku taknak parents aku risau. So i ended up crying alone. Praying. Continue to study no matter how hard the subject is.

And broken.

You might see my tweets, as i will always there, tweeting about happy stuffs and kpop. You saw me fangirling over korean idols. You saw my smile, my coldness, my immature acts. You saw me being calm and positive through everything. But you never know what happen inside my room in the middle of the night, ey?

Idk i've lost half of motivation inside me. I'm targeting for ANC weh, not only DL every semester. And now, i've to let go my anc's goals. :(

Yes, yes, i know, bersyukur. Sekurang-kurangnya aku lulus. Tapi... :'<




1 Comments:

12 November 2015 at 16:45
Blogger White Warrior said...

Be strong zak! am goin thru the same thing as well. I got pretty bad result for my midterm. it was so depressing. -liyana amil

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