Friday, 5 June 2015 | 16:25 | 0 sweethearts
"Who are you stranger can't stop thinking about you,"
I'm back again, tehehee. And yeah, I am already settling down in my college rn. Typical zakiah who was so lazy to update anything when she's home but suddenly turned into such a diligent blogger when she's in the college. Lol.
Of course, I've got two new roommates (not including Kak Mas) which is expectable because no one really stays in the same room unless if you're in the deans list.
And this semester, I asked them to let us-le seniors stay on the lower bed because we really need it. Lol. No I was just joking. They asked by themselves so how could we overturn the invitation, righttt? Kehkeh. :p
Jap jap, guwa terasa homesick tetiba. TT TT
Umur dah sembilan belas tapi homesick tak hilang ni susah jugak.
Maybe because I don't really went anywhere when I was home during the semester break, except with my parents, I somehow grew so attached with them. Huhu. It feels like I need them every second in my life. (Okay I do think everyone else is feeling like this too) I even got scared every time they went out to somewhere and I can't stop asking Allah to take care of them.
Such a paranoid Zakiah.
Well you see, living as me took a lot of patience (even if it didn't appear as so) because you're living in a surrounding that you need to be considerate with everything.
My parents were busy. They were always busy though. But currently abah is preparing for the 'kenaikan gred' hapekemende entah aku tak paham and puan emak is the boss in her place so hm of course she's the busiest.
And it breaks my heart every time my mom said that she's sorry for didn't have so much time to spend with us, and because she had being busy with her works. And because both of them were busy,,we don't really have free times to go to a vacation. Plus they need to take care of my gramps, who were so sick rn. Every time she said that, I told her that its okay, I'm not going to die if I don't go to anywhere though. That is, I need to be understanding, they're working for the sake of us btw.
You might see it as a simple thing. "You can't go to a vacation but still you have a happy family," yes, I am being so grateful rn. But its not that easy if you ever opened your insta account or you twitter and seeing everybody is on their vacation. Soukor, Japan, Aussie or even places in Malaysia itself. I admit I used to be so jealous I even closed the apps for a few days so that I won't have to see the pictures.
And I guess you've already knew that my parents won't give me their permission to go hang out with my friends, no? I can't go anywhere because I'm so young and outside world is too dangerous. Because I'm trained to live in the house and whereabout, only, I didn't really mind if I havent meet my friends for years. Sebab takkan dapat. So kenapa nak berharap? I was at this point that idgaf with most things.
Did you know that my family was too strict in education? Like I can't even get the second place in my class during my primary school time. Because I was born to be the first. And second place is lame. -.- do you know that the whole family still can't accept the fact that I used to get 4a1b in my upsr? And I feel like I'm the dumbest in the family because my siblings score with a flying color back then.
I'm not saying that I'm angry with them, or they had mistreat me this way but this is the reality. Reality isn't that happy or bubbly as in the fairytales. So don't say that you want to live as me.
Sebab Allah tu Maha Mengetahui. You might not being able to hold on. To be a good daughter, to score in the examination, to speak and have a good manner, to be considerate and understanding in everything, to be forgiver and have a lot of patience. To follow all the rules and regulations that have been setted up by your parents.
It takes a lot of patience to deal with this. Seriously. So you better be grateful for who you are and who you're with now. :)
But actually, that's make me who I am nowadays. Strong and ignorant kahkah xD jk.
P/s Anyway, bts are in Msia right now for their TRB (The Red Bullet) concert and I was so jealous huhu, wanna meet the boys too. :( but naah why should I spend 300+ just to watch a concert I rather keep it for the good sake.
|Boy you looks so fine ;)|