Friday, 23 January 2015 | 00:52 | 0 sweethearts
"I think I'm losing control,"
The fact that I don't really do a long-sleep is because I tend to dream, a wild one or maybe a creamy dreamy one which is including my families, kittens, beloved and evelibadeh. Sucks. Somehow.
Cuz I'll be waking up with a lot of ques inside my head. A thought about how can I dreamt like that. And a hard feeling of missing everyone. Wae? Waeeee? TT . TT
Last week was a bit upside down. Got angry easily, eheh. Tetiba rasa semua orang jahat weh kenapa korang taknak insaf kenapa? Aku benci koranggg! Padahal sebab lambat koko je kahkah the emotional zakiah. :p
And yeah, despite of those moody-and-shitty-times, everything went smoothly like a strawberry smoothies. Kay not everything act, whatever. Btw, Ana even asked me to join her eating le sushi yehet Ana iloveyouuu :* and everyone too yang tak berapa makan (siap ada yang tak pernah makan) tapi sanggup sama-sama keluar makan sushi. Ni yang sayang ni, muah ciked :*
|Tapi lepas sushi, kami pergi vivo. Hehe.|
Pastu bil makan dekat dua ghatus. Ngahahaha xD
Sejak adik-adik aku masuk asrama ni, makin selalu aku call puan emak. Kalau aku lambat call je, puan emak call dulu dah. Entah. I understand them somehow. Tinggal berdua je weh, anak-anak semua dah besar. Siapa tak bosan. Plus, I'm the most far away one so why can't I contact them regularly? Its not like they can see me every weekends. Like abang, kakcik and adik.
So, yah. Tapi bil memang tinggi ah. Dahlah bayar sendiri. Beria puan emak nak bayarkan haritu, aku tak bagi. Lantak. Hahaha. Daripada bagi aku, baik pakai duit tu untuk tiga lagi anak dia kat sana. (-.-)~
Okay now, here it is....
Do you ever feel like you're so in love?
Do you ever love someone too much until all you wanna do is to protect them?
I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Its all started when I watched the exo showtime (for the first time tho it's an old show kekeke) at that time I dotingly watch them, watching them practicing their dances, watching them play, watching them eat, and many more. It was.........sweet. Yet meaningful. Childish and fools too hahaha.
|These pabos xD|
They're famous, some of them are really rich, a famous group but still had a respect to the elderly. Still kind towards their fans. Lovable towards each other. Its not like Malaysians tak buat macam tu, but ye lah, dorang boleh je jadi budak nakal. Famous but making chaos, being such a brat lol who cares they are still famous, aite? Like justin bieber? Like miley cyrus? Like the other american singers?
Tapi dorang tak macamtu.
As I watched rookies king bts too. It was love. This feeling is love. But hey, not a simple love, like a fan towards their idols. Or like saying "I really love you I wanna marry youuuu!"
The fact is, my feeling is a protection feeling. I feel like I want to protect them, as if they are my lil brothers. Or my children. I couldn't bear the imagination, no actually the real fact that one day, someday, they will go into the hell. Because they're non Muslims.
Aku tak cakap lah aku ni baik nak mampus but yeah, we know how the end will be like, didn't we? I couldn't bear that they, not only the kpop idols, every non-muslims, every kind and good and sweet non-muslims around the world will end up in the hell, selagi dorang tak masuk Islam. It breaks me, pieces by pieces.
I can't. I cried so hard thinking about this. Sedangkan kalau bayangkan family aku, kengkawan aku, orang-orang yang aku sayang pun aku boleh nangis, yang ni? Sebab yang ni pun aku dah start sayang. Dan aku nak jaga semua orang. Aku nak semua yang aku sayang masuk syurga sekali.
Sebab tu aku kata, sayang aku tak sama macam orang lain. Sayang orang maybe they'll support their idols no matter what happen, they'll buy their original albums and going to their concerts. But my sayang is I want to meet them in the Jannah. I want to tell them I used to love them, I adore them. I want to say that I always pray for them. Because I won't ever be able to go to their concert, 1, tiket mahal for sure, 2, entah. Membazir masa. Puan emak mesti takkan bagi punya. Walaupun jeles tengok orang lain. Huhu.
Am I the only one who acted like this?
Tapi ada orang kata, kita boleh doakan orang kafir supaya dapat hidayah Allah kan? Kita boleh doakan dorang kan? Maybe if I keep praying, maybe at the end of the story, they'll get hidayah. They'll convert into some good Muslims.
Guess I'll never stop praying for them? And of course, for everyone around me too.
Salam sayang :')