Friday, 14 March 2014 | 23:15 | 0 sweethearts
"will you love me, even with my dark side?"
the fact is whenever my sister is home, i'll don't get any chances to update my bloggie cause' all the time we'll be watching segala mak nenek running man series. phew~ biasanya aku yang paksa lah. dia tersengguk-sengguk pun aku tolak-tolak dia supaya tengok sesama ngan aku, mahaha. kesian tau ada kakak macam aku. hee. :3
|cause you're the only one i want :3|
i read naby's blog and the words that came out from my mouth is like, "hoi naby!" haha. macam takde kesensitivitian kaum sangat kan dia duk taip entri sesedih aku pulak main hoi-hoi ngan dia. people will say, kohaja punya zakiah. but people never knows that somehow, it's my way to persuade someone i love. so, here's the problem...
aku kengkadang rasa aku ni ada split personalities. bukan double, maybe triple, empatple, limaple? haa. perosak bahasa aku ni. in some ways, aku pujuk orang dengan lembut, penuh kasih sayang, macam keibuan sangat. but the reality is, aku sebenarnya tak gheti pujuk orang. makin aku sayang orang tu, makin tak pandai aku nak pujuk.
sebab tu orang anggap aku ni tak sensitif, tak peka ngan keadaan orang. it's not like that act, i, kinda, don't know how to express my own feelings. at the right time. at the right place. maybe sebab aku dah banyak sangat nipu diri sendiri kot. pretending to be happy all the way but inside, you're dying alone. heh. maybe sebab itulah, when i facing a sad moment, i can laugh happily. tak pun aku buat taktau. aku bukan tak sedih, aku tak tau camane nak tunjuk kesedihan aku.
i get tensed easily. i get annoyed on every single things. dan kengkadang, benda yang aku tak patut nangiskan, aku boleh nangis teresak-esak. the me of being such an unrational person. the another side of me that always getting angry on everything. dan aku yang tak boleh dicabar. seriously, makin lama aku makin rasa yang takde sapa akan tahan dengan perangai aku ni.
i'm not telling you lies, peoples.
this is the fact.
kalau tak dorang takkan tinggalkan aku. takkan.
only a few persons who willingly to stay by my side, through high or hell water.
so, dear naby, serious talk, i don't really know how to persuade you. kau pun tahu style aku selama ni camne kan? haa. even aku marah-marah, membebel panjang-panjang, you know i did this because i love you, isn't it? jadi, don't ever feel that way anymore. i know you're strong. you're patience more than me. have faith in Allah, Allah uji kau sebab Dia tau kau kuat. and you must show that you're really strong.
one day, He'll give you rewards for having faith in Him. maybe sekarang kau rasa left out, maybe sekarang kau rasa kau tak penting pun untuk sapa-sapa. but in the end, who knows? even you're better than your cousins yang pandai-pandai tu, who really knows? you might don't realise this but you're special to us. to me. believe me. :'>
ohhh and, hoi makcik how come you think that no one will pray for you, read yaasin to you, remember you if you died? haa haa? berani kau cakap cenggitu, aku ikat kau kat tiang nanti tau lah. aisy.
THIS IS HOW A REAL ZAKIAH TALKS :)
p/s: you won't find anyone who will talk the harsh words with laughter, face expressions and soft languange. i'm irreplaceable. hihi ^^
|yes, i am different. ;)|